happiness has always been there and alwYs will be
Happiness has always been there and will always be. -Ling Jin
I believe that everything starts with a realization, an awareness. I believe it more after this experience that I’m going to share.
Sometimes we think we know because we see these educational posts that’s been shared by others on Instagram all the time. But do we really “know”?
I, too, once thought I know what is to be happy, what happiness means because I was trained to become a therapist. But I didn’t until this day that I really experienced what it is to be happy…
I was lying on the bed ready to sleep. As always, I was worried about the next day, “I gotta wake up early”, “I gotta do this and that”, “my partner is working until late again”etc etc. I couldn’t breathe, the asthma started to attack me again.
And then… I had this question popped up in my mind, “wait a moment, aren’t you already happy? Look around!” And I opened my eyes looked around me softly and started to breathe in all that’s around me. I could feel the warmness and softness in the air, and I smiled.
I started to think, “hey, time to stop worrying and feel the happiness. Just feel how wonderful your life already is.”
From that day, no matter how bad day I had, I always end up in my happiness zone, because I know that I always have the place to go back, my happiness zone.
This zone is always bigger than the worry, the anxiety, the unluckiness, the frustration. It is always bigger.
And it has always been there, it was just not noticed by me. I looked back to several years ago, and yeah, it was already there.
It was me who chose to see the problems bigger than the happiness.
This is how powerful the choices we make can be and how much impact our awareness can make on our lives.
In the next days after the realization, I tested many times to see if this is solid. I do what I always do, get frustrated at work, and about my business. And then, amazingly, I always came back to my home base - the happiness zone.
Then I started to wonder why I didn’t notice this before.
I closed my eyes and hypnotized myself, started the regression. I went back to my past to see why I didn’t notice that I was happy before. And then, it brought me back to my childhood. I was born in a very poor family, and my father left us when I was 10. I often didn’t know if we’ll have money to pay for my tuition. I was constantly on a worrying mode. Future was uncertain, so I always had to do(or worry) something to make it better. Study more to go to a good university etc…
After I came to Japan with my uncle’s help, it was even more intense, I had to push myself more to study harder, work harder to deserve all the help I had until today and to build a better future for me and for my family.
I had some beliefs in me, “I always have to do more, work harder and be better.” This became my habit and my motivation but later on it became a TRAP. Because even if when I didn’t need to work too much harder, I still work harder AUTOMATICALLY. It became a trap which locked me in the survival mode. Which cut me off from being happy. The happiness was not available to me and I got used to it. Being in that survival mode was NORMAL to me. On the contrary, being happy was NOT normal to me.
But now the situation has changed. I secured my life, because of all the hard work I have done. And that’s not because I worry but because I have ME. The experience that I have gone through built current ME, and with ME, I can do anything. I don’t need a certainty, I don’t need security, if I have me, I can do anything. So instead of worrying, I choose to do what I love and do my best also not forgetting to enjoy the process at the same time.
Did you see what I did with myself?
I found a problem: I noticed that I wasn’t happy like I’m supposed to be
I found the root cause of the problem: my childhood experiences created a habit and a belief which is “I have to always worry to stay alert and work harder to reduce the uncertainty and insecurity as much as possible” which worked for me to overcome the situation at that time.
I took myself into NOW. Because of the old belief, I was still living with my past brain. So I took myself to the present moment by telling myself, hey, look around, look where you live now, you are no longer in that sad place. You are safe now. You can let the worry go.
And I know that even if one day I lose everything, my high pay corporate job, I can still live an amazing life. Because I have ME. That’s all I have and that’s more than enough.
That’s pretty much a mini hypnotherapy session that I did with myself.
Click below to book a free consultation session.
