I want to dance like before!!!

We can never go back.

Shouldn’t therapist be perfect and don’t have problems in life?

Absolutely not true! Therapists are also human beings, and nobody is perfect. We are all “on our way”. (A buddhism expression that all of us are on training and will continuously have obstacles in life to teach us something.)

I reflect a lot every day from big and small things to improve myself because I love this self changing journey and I believe that there is no ending in this journey.

The other day I was talking with a woman who just gave birth. She said she wanted to be fit again like before, before she gave birth. But she felt it challenging with 2 kids.

Many of us may have THE jeans that we keep deep in the drawer and tell ourselves, one day I’m going to wear that jeans again.

It is a perfect jeans that we used to wear when we had the “perfect” body. And then… it just doesn’t look the same when we wear it now…

But is it fair to expect our body to BE or PERFORM the same way as it used to be?

Our body shape is constantly changing as well as our hormone balance, digestion system, metabolism etc etc. Not to mention if you just gave birth.

We can never go back.

If we can’t go back but we talk to our minds saying “I want to go back”, then our brain doesn’t give you a correct result because it is conflicting.

So instead, I advised her to think, imagine, look forward to what kind of body and mind she wants to have FROM NOW ON. Such as “I want to be more energetic, in a good balance, feel healthy, feel refreshed when I wake up…” And also make some realistic goals which fits more in her current lifestyle.

This way, our mind receives more positive signals and give us more positive feedbacks too.

I think she really appreciated this advise and she looked more hopeful and positive instantly.

After the conversation, I went back home and realized that… oh my god, isn’t that an advice for myself!

I have been pushing myself to dance like when I was 10s, early 20s. I was unconsciously blaming at myself, “why can’t I remember the choreography as fast as BEFORE”, “why can’t I coordinate my body like I USED to” …

Of course I can’t, I’m now 35 years old and so many things have changed. I have more responsibility in my life, I can’t dedicate my whole life to dance, I dance to enjoy and to understand, work and train my body and mind. Actually I get a lot of inspirations from dancing regarding mental health. So it is ok to grow at my own pace in my CURRENT body.

So immediately I switched my mind to a relaxed state and accepted who I am now.

Since then, my performance actually improved, because I activated my parasympathetic nervous system(rest and digest) instead of my sympathetic nervous system(fight or flight).

To be continued.